Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Singing Nuns

"When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am . . ."

That song could be about my mother. And, come to think of it, it could also be about me.

She and I are so much alike, sometimes I get us confused.

She had just gotten a french manicure and I was distracted by her staring intently at her swaying hands. Finally, I asked her what she was doing.

She lifted her hands for me to see.

As she waved her hands back and forth in opposite directions, it looked just like two rows of nuns singing and swaying in a chorus.

Happy hands. Happy nuns. My happy mom.

I LOVE my mom.

Monday, May 30, 2005

The Waiting Game

"When the light turns green three times, she will be here".

I watch the red light turn green three separate times and I think to myself, "No, wait. I didn't mean that".

I think to myself, " when the second white car passes by, she will come". Eventually, two white cars have passed me by and still I wait.

"When that man jogging by reaches that fire hydrant, I will count down from ten, and she will arrive".

I begin to count slowly. "ten-mississippi, nine-mississippi, eight-mississippi, seven-mississippi, six-mississippi, five-mississippi, four-mississippi, three-mississippi, two-mississippi, one-and-three-fourths-mississippi, one-a-half-mississippi, one-and-a-third-mississippi".

I see her!

I jump up to wave the car down before realizing it's not her.

Without skipping a beat, I pretend to be waving BEHIND the car. I begin walking down the street in a quick pace headed in the direction of my wave... and then turn and look back over my shoulder. When I see that car turn the corner and out of sight, I turn around and return to the spot I had sat down for so long. The grass is bent over and it makes me feel self-conscious how big the area seems to be. I quickly glance down to see if my bottom is really that big. It feels damp. I quickly stare for a wet spot, slapping away dirt, a pebble and a grass blade sticking to it.

I decide to stand and wait.

An older woman passes me by and smiles. I return the smile, wondering if she had seen me mistakenly wave.

As I watch her walk down the street, I look toward the light and it has turned red.

I look back toward the woman and she is waiting for it to turn green to cross the street and head on her way.

I look back for my ride. There are no cars in sight. I decide by the time she crosses the street, my ride will be here.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Telling Stories

This morning I was telling a story. A rrreally good one, I thought. One that would really make a good friend laugh and be entertained. So I began to tell my story and began, "The other day while driving over that narrow bridge . . . " and then I stopped.

In an instant for her, but what seemed like an eternity to me, I stopped talking in mid-sentence as I realized this story actually took place in 1997.

Wondering if she caught my hesitancy, I quickly changed my story to .. "Nooo, it was longer than that" and went on to tell my delightful story.

Now, later in the day, I think about my fabrication. What IF I said, "Eight years ago while driving over that narrow bridge...", would my story still carry the same impact? Was I wrong in fibbing with the time line or was the story in itself the most important?

It's a story I have told many times to so many people before. It's comfortable and fits me well ..like an old worn sweatshirt. The words spill out of my mouth so easily and each time I tell the story, I imply the situation happened recently.

I can only imagine, one of these days, I will repeat this story to someone who has already been entertained by it from me already. They will look at me and say, "Last year you told me that same story!"



I want to be more conscious of the words I choose when I talk. To be okay in saying, "Once, long ago, while driving over that narrow bridge" . . . and then begin my story.

It keeps my words and stories in check.

And, that's important for me.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I See Spots

An actual conversation that occured last night over dinner:

P: "Oh my! Did you hear that somone spotted a mountain lion nearby at the park last week?"

ME: (who was totally and completely perplexed by that). "NoOoOoOooOo! Why would ANYONE want to put spots on a mountain lion?!"