Saturday, August 30, 2008

Running for president?

Why not. Do I have your vote


Monday, August 25, 2008

Feeling the calm....

The weeds in my yard are now gone and the fertilizer has done its job and now my grass is back to being green. A clean orderly yard is so calming to me.

In the past few months, something has been shifting inside me. I don't know why I am feeling this urgency and desire to take care of my home and yard, but I feel it. And I'm obeying this inner tug.

Ever since I got my kitchen updated, I've had this yearning to declutter my home. I'm Zen-ifying it so to speak. It seems to be taking a long time as I'm only doing one closet at a time... and then one room at a time. Each day I am being more and more mindful of what I keep and what I throw away. By throwing out the clutter, I've noticed the clutter in my head is also being cleaned away.

Usually this sort of tossing things out overwhelms me. But now I'm learning to discover it's reward: Peace of mind. Clarity. A place of calm. I am really experiencing that simplicity is where my heart feels most calm. I have also noticed that since i became aware of my need to have my own personal time, I have attracted that more into my life.

I am no longer coming home from work to a looming deadline.

I had such a lovely weekend. I worked on my house and yard quite a bit but I also enjoyed the pleasure of spending time with friends and family. I didn't do any freelance work this weekend and that is the magic word.

No free lance.

Without it, I concentrated on what I already have. My home. My yard. My family. My friends. My true treasure.

I woke up feeling really happy today. It was like an excited happy, like the last day of school kind of happy. Like wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree happy or like being in love happy.

I feel extraordinary happy and believe I'm exactly where I am supposed to be in my life right at this moment. I am on the right path. And I feel that something wonderfully unexpected is about to happen to me. That probably really sounds crazy. And maybe it is crazy. But I'm crazy happy and keeping my eyes open for the magic.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The home I grew up in

I grew up here.
This is the home where old famous people used to pay their visits. Henry Ford. Thomas Edison. Jack London. Luther Burbank.

It was built in 1850 by John Hendley who became a doctor in early Santa Rosa.

When I was nine years old and moved into this house, I automatically believed that the reason I lived in such an old estate was because I was going to be famous as well and people from all over the world would come to my childhood home and tour it.

It didn't hurt that my childhood home was decorated in antiques.
I ate my french toast here every morning. And I enjoyed hamburger helper casseroles for dinner nearly every night. And later, in the early 1990s, I learned to hang wallpaper in this room.

I think it was a year after we moved in, when an old lady and her son who was also very old, drove up our driveway one morning. They walked up to our door and in her thin, frail voice told us that she grew up in this house from 1898 - 1908 and before she died, her wish was to come back and visit her childhood home. And she did. She came from the state of Washington. She gave us a photo of the front of the home from 1906.

I remember her eyes danced as she walked through the different rooms remembering. In the library, she paused for a moment and said that she had signed her name from a diamond on one of the window panes as she stood out on the cellar door. She leaned and walked closer to the window and there it was. Her signature still remains there with the date 1908. Her eyes welled up in tears as she pressed her fingers against her childhood signature.

A few years later, another woman drove up the driveway and knocked on our door. She lived in our house in the 1930s. She told stories of her horse named Red who she kept down in the stables where our horses were then. The sign RED was still hanging up in the stable and we gave it to her.

We had horses, rabbits, ducks, geese, sheep, a goat and a pig and numerous dogs and cat at this house. We rode our honda 50 and honda 70 mini bikes around this property and it really was a wonderful home to grow up in.

I moved away when I was 19 but I actually returned and lived here five years ago for a couple of months in between selling my town house and moving into the home I live in now. I slept in the same twin bed I slept in as a child, though now in a different bedroom; the mattress so old that it was old when I slept in it as a child. My lower back hurt each morning from awakening. But, I am grateful for those few months living back with my mother and returning back to my roots.

Its an enchanted home.

My mother still lives here and we come here for dinners there at least every 10 days.

And one day, (regretfully) and hopefully, it will be a long, long time into the future, before the house will become empty and the lights will turn off for the last time, and I can tell you when that happens, I won't be able to bear to ever drive near this home again. My heart couldn't bare it. It is my home. My family. My life. Who I am and what I am is because of this house and what happened in these walls as a child. And someday when it becomes empty... my heart will break into a million pieces.

Welcome to my childhood home. If you come to visit me, I'll take you here. You'll love my mother and I promise you an experience you won't forget easily.

I just wish I had another 50 years to enjoy it. And maybe I will.

PS: My bedroom windows growing up was the two windows to the right of the house and the one window on the side of the house upstairs.

Monday, August 4, 2008

It's just another doodle thought

Are you ever sitting in a plane and you look out your window and wonder where everyone is?

I love it when we're flying low and about to land and I can peer down at all the swimming pools in people's backyards.

But where are all the people? Why don't I see a guy mowing his yard or a woman walking her kids to the park or the mailman delivering mail. Where are all the kids swimming in their pools or riding their bikes?

I see cars and buildings and homes and parks but I never really see actual people. From a certain distance, entire populations seem to just get swallowed up in thin air. Their cars remain, but they don't.

Is it an earth repellent safety mechanism to keep out curious peeping UFOs wondering if there are living beings on earth?

Ohhh the things I think about while laying in bed when I should be sleeping....