Sunday, June 20, 2010

Leaving it all behind me

This has been such a lovely weekend.

I ran a short 4-mile trail this morning and as I was running along the winding pathways, I felt the weight of the week slowly peeling off me. I mentally released it to the wind... whispering, "be gone. go away!" And by the end of the 4th mile, I was sprinting toward my car.

I have been weighted down by fear lately.

All the what-ifs in my life started to invade my thoughts and i started to feel paralyzed by what could happen if my fears came to be and how would I weather the adversities?

I'm usually a positive person. I always hang out on the sappy side of optimism wearing my rose-colored glasses.

So I've been quite taken back by my reactions and the burdensome thought-processes that have taken place in recent months over personal circumstances that have began to instill fear in me.

Fear that I can't live the life the way I want to live it.

I came so close to throwing my hands up and saying, "okay. I lose!"

And then I had this Ah-Ha! moment.

You know how it is when you can visualize yourself eating a lemon? (go ahead and pretend with me ... I'll sit here and wait while you imagine yourself taking a large bite out of a sour lemon.... ). Go ahead. Imagine it. Pretend to yourself that you are biting deep into a lemon.

Did you notice your adrenal glands just tighten up? Because your body didn't know any different. It believed you when you pretended to bite into a lemon...

Whatever we put in our mind, our body reacts to it.

I started running about a year ago. And before I joined a running group, I didn't think I could run the length of a football field. And I couldn't! My body believed my thoughts!!

But while in the running group, I ran much further than a footfall field... because I experienced those around me doing it and somehow my mind was able to convince my body I could run it as well.

And I did... eventually running two 10ks and two half-marathons... and I have another 10k planned July 4th that I will run all within a one year calendar from the day I started to run.

Whether positive or negative, every word you and I speak and every thought we think is creating our life. It's also forging our future. Our thoughts are putting our future into motion.

While running along the lake this morning, I asked myself what I was really worrying about... and, then, i asked myself, would i like for this worrisome thought to actually take place and make my life its reality?

And the answer was a defiant NoOoOoOOoOo!

So I took all those negative, fearful thoughts that have been weighing me down and I left them alongside the trail as I ran on ahead without them. And it really feels great.

I really do feel that weight has been lifted from me.

And for the first time in a long, long time, I feel optimistic toward my future and look forward to a great day tomorrow.

I am wishing the same good wonderful stuff for you, too.


Dan Guerra said...

Another awesome post Shawn! I really did react to the lemon part! Like jumping into a cold swimming pool, the fear in anticipation is usually worse than the actual experience.
I love how optimism flows from you like a fountain. Keep up the running! It's like you'd been waiting to do this your whole life, and now you're doing it!

Jen and Angela said...

Great post and true. I haven't been sleeping that great, so now before I go to bed, I sing the Momma and Pappa's song in my head "Dream A Little Dream of Me" In the lyrics it says "Sweet Dreams Till Sunbeams Find You". Now I can't get the song out of my head. Such is the power of the subconscious mind. Jen

Kate said...

Fear and negativism ooze in without us noticing. Somehow we have to fight back to make optimism the foundation of life. Why is that? Media? Politics? Not getting what REALLY matters in life? Keeping up? It gets to all of us at one time or another but we will win!

Christine said...

What an inspiring post, Shawn. I'm happy that you were able to work things out for yourself during a run, no less! It's amazing how therapeutic running is for our minds as well as our bodies, isn't it?

Love your attitude!!! =)

Happy trails! xo

doodlegirl said...

Dan: i loved what you said here: "Like jumping into a cold swimming pool, the fear in anticipation is usually worse than the actual experience." You are soooo riiiight!!

Jen: You're so cute! Whadda great song to keep in your head! I hope you are sleeping better now...

Kate: Good points! Those of us who are optimistic by nature eventually find their way back to optimism. But that fear and negativism i think ultimately comes from the collective consciousness of those around us... feeling fear and negativism that stems from the media and politics.

Christine: WOW! I love what you said: "It's amazing how therapeutic running is for our minds as well as our bodies, isn't it?" You are sooo right!!! It's so clarifying in so many ways!!

PunkToad said...

I just finished reading "Rapt Attention," which says something very similar. What ever one is focused on becomes the most important thing in ones life. However, you can choose what to focus on and decide what you want to be the most important thing in your life.

doodlegirl said...

Hey, thanks PunkToad for the book referral. I really believe along those lines: "whatever one is focused on becomes the most important thing in one's life"... which can be really great or really scary, depending on how we allow our thoughts to land on.