Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hungry for more

I've been eating like a horse all week.
Well. At least a hungry horse.

It's as if I've grown a zillion new taste buds on my tongue. I'm quite sure that is what has happened. All these tiny little taste seeds have budded and taken growth on my tongue to cause everything I eat taste so delicious.

On Tuesday morning, I'm having a medical procedure done and in which case I can only drink broth and clear liquids all day tomorrow and into Tuesday morning.

I am so fearing that I will be a starving lunatic that I'm eating myself crazy hoping that my tummy will feel full all day tomorrow. Why do I do this to myself. I know this will not be the case, and instead, I will probably hunger more because I've stretched my belly so large.

Speaking of eating, I'm going to remodel my kitchen. Even tear down a wall. Pretty courageous, eh?

Well, no, I'm not going to do it all by myself. (Though, I think that would be very cool!) But this upgrade to my home is what I have been wanting since I moved in here. For awhile now, I've been imagining what my home would look like with a wall taken down. A short wall where most of it is taken up with my kitchen pocket door. I think it will make it look so much more open and more beautiful. I hope so. Because I sure don't want to build the wall back up.

It'll be five years this October that I signed the papers and was given the keys to my home. Five years already!! And in all the places I have ever lived, I have never made it past the five-year-mark. I start to get that itch to experience new places to lay my head down and hang my hat on... if I wore hats.

I live in a mid-century home.

The kitchen hasn't changed a wink since it was built and I want to add a dishwasher and have one of those microwaves over the stove with a hood and new cabinets and new counter tops. Even a new floor! I am imagining myself cooking more in this new kitchen. It will be like a new home, so in a way, it will be like I moved away and moved back in again.

I was at a party last weekend up in the Marin County hills and while standing on the deck of this home, I could see the home I once lived in.
I rented the granny unit attached to the home owned by family friends I have known since I was three.

I loved living there. My life and home was in perfect order back then. Nothing was ever out of place. I cooked a lot. I had so much more free time and and filled it with friends.
Whenever I had dinner guests over, we'd sit outside on my deck knowing we couldn't find a more beautiful view. I could see the faint dancing lights of San Francisco across the bay. It felt like everyday I was on vacation.

I would lay in bed at night and peer out my large bedroom window at the airplanes circle the night sky overhead and then land at the San Francisco airport. I'd count down and would know how long it took for the plane to fly over my house and when it would begin it's descent. The home was on stilts on the side of the cliff and I used to be scared an earthquake would rock it over but I also felt entirely safe living there. I also cried in this home while watching the funeral of Princess Diana on tv.

(click on this photo to see it bigger)

I have been craving more organization in my life like I had back then. I am so tired of the clutter. I want to have less things. I want to back up a truck and fill it with all my once-treasures and either donate them or toss them away in a huge garbage dumpster.

I have a new shredder. I have been a shredding crazy woman all week. Shredding up every piece of paper that might encourage someone to steal my identity.
Whiiiirrrrrr... the shredder goes. I love that machine. I filled up my blue recycling container last Monday. All in one day. My home felt lighter. And so did I.

I'm hungry tonight. But certainly not for food. I am hungry for more order. And more organization in my home. Less clutter. Less things (but more meaningful things). And certainly more friends to fill my day. Spring is coming. I feel it nipping at my feet. I get this way around this time every year. It's a new season. New growth. I'm excited and I'm happy. And I'm hopeful for new things. I'm already making changes and I'm moving forward.


danny said...

That was an awesome place where you lived shawn! I never saw the house from that perspective! I would have Loved to have lunch with you on that deck...
Anyway, you Are doing it! moving forward with the kitchen, tearing down a wall, holy toledo!
Yeah it sounds like your five year itch is leading to another round of very cool things!

doodlegirl said...

Hi danny!
I can't wait for this to happen and then I'll post the before and after photos. (oh. Unless it doesn't look good. And then I'll just post the before photos like I did with my bathroom).

Doodlestreet said...

So are you still hungry? Don't stick any cheese in that shredder..

whirrr...whirrrrrr umpf...ack...sputter...splat!

platitudinal said...

I think one great thing about you is when you feel the “itch” you scratch it away. I am doing a detoxification and taking only juice. I love to eat and now without food to fill in the empty spots, I’m feeling very restless. Maybe I should follow your lead and do something … like start packing for our trip and clean up a bit (just a bit ;)

doodlegirl said...

Hi doodlestreet. NOT ANYMORE, but I was STARVING the other day! It's amazing how obscessive one can be about food as soon as you know you can't eat any of it.

Plat... so you're doing all liquids today, huh?! Oyy. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I felt so restless, too! I am sending you up a truckload of well wishes and three dozen pats on the back because you sure deserve it!!!

ValGalArt said...

So neat to see that picture! I know what you mean about the clutter and I declutted 2 summers ago and I don't regret it at all! Also now that there are huge plastic containers with sealed lids you can feel safe storing important things in the garage and not worry about dampness, water, mold, or wreckage. If you have a garage or a place to store things that you don't need all the time.