Hungry for more

I've been eating like a horse all week.
Well. At least a hungry horse.

It's as if I've grown a zillion new taste buds on my tongue. I'm quite sure that is what has happened. All these tiny little taste seeds have budded and taken growth on my tongue to cause everything I eat taste so delicious.

On Tuesday morning, I'm having a medical procedure done and in which case I can only drink broth and clear liquids all day tomorrow and into Tuesday morning.

I am so fearing that I will be a starving lunatic that I'm eating myself crazy hoping that my tummy will feel full all day tomorrow. Why do I do this to myself. I know this will not be the case, and instead, I will probably hunger more because I've stretched my belly so large.

Speaking of eating, I'm going to remodel my kitchen. Even tear down a wall. Pretty courageous, eh?

Well, no, I'm not going to do it all by myself. (Though, I think that would be very cool!) But this upgrade to my home is what I have been wanting since I moved in here. For awhile now, I've been imagining what my home would look like with a wall taken down. A short wall where most of it is taken up with my kitchen pocket door. I think it will make it look so much more open and more beautiful. I hope so. Because I sure don't want to build the wall back up.

It'll be five years this October that I signed the papers and was given the keys to my home. Five years already!! And in all the places I have ever lived, I have never made it past the five-year-mark. I start to get that itch to experience new places to lay my head down and hang my hat on... if I wore hats.

I live in a mid-century home.

The kitchen hasn't changed a wink since it was built and I want to add a dishwasher and have one of those microwaves over the stove with a hood and new cabinets and new counter tops. Even a new floor! I am imagining myself cooking more in this new kitchen. It will be like a new home, so in a way, it will be like I moved away and moved back in again.

I was at a party last weekend up in the Marin County hills and while standing on the deck of this home, I could see the home I once lived in. I rented the granny unit attached to the home owned by family friends I have known since I was three.

I loved living there. My life and home was in perfect order back then. Nothing was ever out of place. I cooked a lot. I had so much more free time and and filled it with friends. Whenever I had dinner guests over, we'd sit outside on my deck knowing we couldn't find a more beautiful view. I could see the faint dancing lights of San Francisco across the bay. It felt like everyday I was on vacation.

I would lay in bed at night and peer out my large bedroom window at the airplanes circle the night sky overhead and then land at the San Francisco airport. I'd count down and would know how long it took for the plane to fly over my house and when it would begin it's descent. The home was on stilts on the side of the cliff and I used to be scared an earthquake would rock it over but I also felt entirely safe living there. I also cried in this home while watching the funeral of Princess Diana on tv.

(click on this photo to see it bigger)

I have been craving more organization in my life like I had back then. I am so tired of the clutter. I want to have less things. I want to back up a truck and fill it with all my once-treasures and either donate them or toss them away in a huge garbage dumpster.

I have a new shredder. I have been a shredding crazy woman all week. Shredding up every piece of paper that might encourage someone to steal my identity. Whiiiirrrrrr... the shredder goes. I love that machine. I filled up my blue recycling container last Monday. All in one day. My home felt lighter. And so did I.

I'm hungry tonight. But certainly not for food. I am hungry for more order. And more organization in my home. Less clutter. Less things (but more meaningful things). And certainly more friends to fill my day. Spring is coming. I feel it nipping at my feet. I get this way around this time every year. It's a new season. New growth. I'm excited and I'm happy. And I'm hopeful for new things. I'm already making changes and I'm moving forward.