I picked up my ringing phone and was launched back to high school! Best friends forever, The BeeGees, playing volleyball in her church youth group, cowl neck sweaters and Farrah Fawcett hairdos.
"Shawn! I'm coming to your area! Let's get together and hang out for the afternoon."
And I thought we shouldn't so I told her that we would be like ships passing in the night because I was going to be gone that weekend. And, oh how sad, because we have so much to catch up on!
Catching up was precisely why I didn't want to see her. It all seemed so exhausting. We really don't know each other anymore.
Her life is strange to me. She is married to a pentecostal pastor and they were going to be in town to meet with other church leaders in the community.
We found each other through classmates.com and in a recent email exchange, she sent me a photo of herself. She is as beautiful as ever. She was standing in front of her fireplace at home wearing a long necklace with a cross. She exchanged her Farrah Fawcett hair style to a length longer than her gown she was wearing.
When I think of her, I think of notes passed between desks in Government class. "I love Dave but Coreen loves him. So I'm going to settle on Kenny. Do you like the song Torn Between Two Lovers. Have you heard it on the radio? KFRC is playing it alot these days. Sounds like me! Ha!"
My mom can drive us to see Grease tomorrow night. Can your mom pick us up? If not, I will ask if Karen's mom can."
We washed our faces with Noxzema and shampooed with Gee-Your-Hair-Smells-Terrific and played the BeeGees, Fleetwood Mac and Peter Frampton on our stereos.
When she moved away with her family out of state, I worried how I would endure another year in school without my best friend. She hugged me and promised to write and I followed the UHaul truck all through town until they reached the onramp to the highway and disappeard into the distance.
I remember feeling so lucky to have her as my friend and I didn't know what I'd do without her.
But now I do. I do without her all the time.
It has been too many years we haven't kept in touch that it's difficult to conjur up the energy now to spend an afternoon with her. Maybe another time. Maybe because she is pentecostal and I am not. Maybe because she knows I was once a missionary, living out of a suitcase living in neighborhoods some cab drivers wouldn't even venture down and doesn't know that was a lifetime ago for me and I no longer go to church.
Maybe I'm just not ready to talk to her about it. Maybe I worry about being judged by her. Maybe because I am still sorting out all the feelings and thoughts surrounding my full time ministry days. Maybe it is all those things. I am just not ready to talk to her about it.
But she will never know that.