Monday, March 22, 2010

During Dinner

He blows his nose onto his cloth restaurant napkin... digging deeply with his finger into each nostril and then blowing hard, sounding like a fog horn.

I lift up my shoulders in a cower and bend forward and want to tell him, Can you maybe do that after dinner or can you walk away from the dinner table and maybe use a Kleenex instead?

He does one more wipe around his nose and says, So what's a great girl like you still single? Why hasn't a guy captured you up already!

And I want to tell him, Well, I wouldn't be captured by you, because whenever I see you blow your nose at the dinner table, I want to turn my eyes away in fear of dry-heaving.

But.  I don't.

Instead I just feel kind of embarrassed about being myself.

And he keeps on digging and blowing his nose and says, That’s so weird that you are single....
  
And I silently sit there across from him, as I focus on his fingers indenting into the cloth napkin rubbing up against his nose while he blows even harder.

7 comments:

Dan Guerra said...

haha! EWWWW! Did that happen to you in Palm Springs?...you coulda said, "well, just like you, I'm lookin' to pick me a winner!"

Anonymous said...

he sounds like an ass he has no idea of who you are kind of shows ya to be wise as a serpant and gentle as a dove in dealing with people he ought to be embaressed not you cheer up

Anonymous said...

he ought to be embaressed not you

doodlegirl said...

You are so funny, dan! Thanks for the laugh!

Thank you for your input Anon! True words.

Jen and Angela said...

Funny! You can't make this stuff up. Life, my friend, is great fodder for our blogs! When I was in 6th grade, my best friend told me of the then "heart throb" of our school that she liked him until she saw some snot coming out of his nose. You may think that's funny - but it's snot!

doodlegirl said...

Jen! I have been usin' that line a lot today... "Well, you might think that's funny, but it's snot.." and i'm tellin' all these silly sorrid jokes. Thanks for the laugh!

Janet said...

Ewww...I'm hopin' you were through eatin'.