Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The sound of silence

It's the silence that is so deafening.

Funny how the mind twists and turns truths like an old tired rope. All frayed at the edges.

It's the silence (or lack of response) that keeps you up at night worrying and re-living and keeping you from truly resting your spirit.
When someone stops talking to you, many things happen.

For starters, the mind starts filling in the blanks that now so obviously exists between two people.
The mind is inventive and cruel and cunning. It can tell you things so seemingly impossible, and make you believe them more than any thread of truth.

Silence can cause enormous paranoia.

You make up fears. You invent scenarios that never actually happened. You make up the problem in your head, and not the one that actually took place last week or last year or even many years ago.

What happened?
Well, usually both people are right and wrong.

I always say there are three sides to every story.

First there is the truth which actually happened.

Then what follows is that each person sees it from a different perspective which creates the other two stories.

It's the perspective

It's funny what people remember. Ask them to tell you their experience of the same event you just experienced with them and you'll know what I mean.

Where they stood and what they heard and saw and felt cannot be what you saw or heard or felt.

It cannot be.
Because its two people experiencing it from different places.

A point of view changes everything. It's not all right. It's not all wrong. It's just different.

We are all guilty of this in smaller, subtle moments: The call we forgot to return. An email that we haven't replied to. Not responding to a facebook comment on our wall. We were busy. We forgot. We're still planning on calling, writing, commenting... we just haven't yet. And maybe we never will. But it's not intentional.

I am wishing you a view to remember that it's not always personal ... the courage to rise above the silence ... and the perspective to keep you focused on your journey.


danny said...

Wow Shawn! so true and very insightful!...the only perspective we have is our own, and we can only imagine, or presume, others' perspectives and fill in the blanks when the information is not there. But only with information we have from our own perspective!
You should work for the United Nations! :o)

doodlegirl said...

WOW Dan! You said it perfectly! I wish I had written that! :O) It's wonderful to fully recognize and embrace this insight.

Patricia Forney said...

I love you, DEAR Shawn.

Thanks for reading my blog and leaving a comment.

Yes, responses matter, and so I am responding to YOU.

Love you.

mac said...

my mind certainly wont rest these days. Im sad and hurt by silence from people lately. And these are strong powerful words. thanks Shawn. I need to go live my life.