Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Beginning a new year

What a year this has been!

I didn't write down any new resolutions, because I do that all the time. I call it my wish list. I carry this small black book around with me everywhere I go and jot down my hopes and wishes and dreams every time I think of one. It's not every day. It's not every week. But it's always there for me so I don't forget it when the wish happens to me.

I have loved 2006! I know I will always look back on this year and feel warm. My Nana used to say every Christmas. "We're all here this year and we need to give thanks because we never know who might not be with us next year."

As a child, my eyes would dart around the room staring at everyone there, wondering their fate. Worried. For a moment, I would forget about Santa and his reindeer and presents. I would run and hug them all.

"Please don't leave me!" I would silently pray to each of them.

As I get older, I worry about that much more.

I am knowing too many sick people. Cancer is a thief. It steals time. Our days are already short with worry. Then comes this relentless disease, unfair as a hailstorm at harvest time. I feared it for myself this past summer. Now I know a handful of people I love dearly who are battling this.

This I know for all of us: Life is short. Days spin by much too quickly.

Take more time to be with those you love. Let this be a year of slowing down this maddening pace we all live in. S--L--O--W down. Look up at the moon. Use your best china. Soap yourself with that fancy soap shaped like a rose, collecting dust in your fancy unused soap dish. Light your unused candles. Call that friend you swore never to call again "because I'm always the one who calls". Don't hold a grudge. Don't resist a "thank you" because someone's behavior is what you expected and felt deserved. Say "i'm sorry" more and "you owe me an apology" less. Enjoy your friends. Be grateful for those who love you and treat them with care because there will be days you will need them the most and you will have been glad you didn't shoo them away. And be. Simply be. Be grateful. Laugh hard. Remain sensitive. Seek out the beauty in things.

I will be doing the same.


Rayne said...

Very wise words, indeed.
Ever since I started getting the iron infusions and finding out how serious my 'condition' really is I've noticed some changes in my behavior. There are certain things that really just don't matter any more and a realignment of priorities. It's interesting what a little reminder of mortality can do for some one.

violetismycolor said...

This is just wonderful and I totally agree with you. I am always trying to stop myself and enjoy the moment that is here, instead of thinking about ones past and others to come. This is hard work for me, but so important. Thank you for your contribution to my thought process. You have been a wonderful reminder.

Doodlestreet said...

I like what your nana said. Wouldn't it be nice to have a book of nana quotes to live by?

Very wise post....

Olias said...

What a wise and wonderful post! I have always tried to do those things too, but sometimes it's hard...
I hope all the dreams in your little book come true!

Monica said...

Thank you for that precious reminder, it's so important. And you worded it so eloquently. I wish you a 2007 that was even happier than 2006!!